why I'm still, and always will be, a Hokie

This post is kind of more for the newer people in my life, newer meaning we've only known each other for a year or two. At this point everyone knows that I'm a local, while I moved around a lot when I was younger and my hometown is a little under two hours down the road, I can now say that I've spent the majority of my life living in or around Christiansburg and Blacksburg.

I spent a year as a student at Virginia Tech, and I know that there were people from Radford who threw shade at me for transferring because of the negative stigma that some people at Radford hold against VT. I know for a fact that the bad vibes come from students from both universities and people throw shade at each other left and right, especially on yik yak. I've had people make comments to me or around me about both places, and it irritates the crap out of me because both VT and Radford hold such special places in my heart, and sorry RU, but especially the Virginia Tech campus.

I don't care if you don't like their football team. I don't care if you think that Hokie stone is ugly, or if you think that they're just overall "overrated" or whatever. I don't want you to like any of those things for me. My mom graduated from VT, I grew up going to Hokie football games and spending nice spring days at the duck pond. I've had several friends attend and I've visited. I love downtown Blacksburg. Not to mention the year that I spent as a student there completely immersing myself in the camaraderie that exists among the student body.

All I want you to do is respect what this community, and what April 16, 2007 means to me. I spent that day on lockdown at school because of our close proximity. I walked past a classroom with the television on, the news organization parading the number of wounded across the bottom. I know people who were on campus that day. I don't expect you to understand my feelings associated with that day, or why I felt like I was in the safest place in the world when I stood in front of Burruss Hall at the first candlelight vigil only days later.

All I ask is that the act of Hokies Respect is mirrored across all communities and that no matter the size of the tragedy, we come together to remind each other that not all hope is lost.

"The Hokie Nation embraces our own and reaches out with open heart and hands to those who offer their hearts and minds. We are strong, and brave, and innocent, and unafraid. We are better than we think and not quite what we want to be. We are alive to the imaginations and the possibilities..."

why I do what I do

Last summer I went to my cousin's wedding. When you're around family and you're in your twenties, people love to ask you what you are, or what you want to do with your life. Last summer was when I had finally decided what I really want to do. I was approached by someone and asked, and when I said that I wanted to teach theatre I was honestly a little surprised by the response that I was given, mostly because the response came from a fellow educator. As a side note I have this image in my head that all of us educators need to stick together. She said "oh, but you need a back up." to which I reminded her that the masters I want is in k-12 education so my options should be pretty open, and she went on to tell me that I should get certified in English or history.

I would be the worst English teacher. I can write the crap out of a paper, but I'm a terrible reader. I love reading articles and books that I'm actually interested in, but I could never spend my nights reading papers and awful books recommended by the public education system. First of all, I would roll my eyes at the sometimes terrible grammar - I'm no grammar nazi myself! I actually think I use too many commas..  and I would just hate my life. So why the heck would I want to be certified to teach English.

I'm tired of being told that what I love to do isn't worthy or isn't a real thing. I spent the last year of my four year high school relationship being told that theatre is just a hobby and that I needed to pursue a "real job" in order to support my relationship in the long run so that my counterpart at the time could pursue what he liked to do because it was more "practical" that what I wanted to do. People might wonder why I get so defensive when I talk about what I want to do, so now you know why. I spent years being told that I would never get a real job doing what I love to do so I should settle. 

Well I'll have you know that I'm not settling, and I'd like to think that I've been perfectly successful not doing so. I'll graduate in the fall with my undergrad in theatre with experience in a number of different things. I can't wait to expose students to the reality of stage management and design, two things that I had never dreamed about doing until college. In high school it was all about the performance, and it was so fun at the time, but it's not my thing anymore. Then again, I wouldn't just call myself a designer or a stage manager, either. I'd like to think that I'm a melting pot of all of the wonderful things that make theatre worth pursuing. Now, I can't light design worth anything, but I could at least introduce a student to a basic concept. 

All I want to do is influence one life over the course of mine. If I can at least help one student decide that the theatre is worth pursuing then I will feel like I've done my service. If I could help a hundred students then even better, but dream big, am I right? 

Then again, why is it such a big dream? How much does the entertainment industry influence your life? Do you watch television? Do you watch Netflix? Guess what, without theatre you would be staring at the wall. The theatre is important, and I want to devote my life to teaching it. 

No, I don't think I'll be the best teacher ever. I don't want recognition for anything. I just want to be happy doing what I love to do. And I want people to stop telling me that I should do something different. I think you should support me. When I tell you what I'm doing with my life, all I want you to say is "oh, that's great." That's literally it. I don't want to hear what I "should" do. I don't think anyone should have to hear that. 

"The stage is not merely the meeting place of all the arts, but is also the return of art to life". -- Oscar Wilde

because this is too long for a facebook status

It's so interesting, going back and reading through the five posts I made in January/February 2014. Some of my feelings are exactly the same, and some have taken a turn in the opposite direction:

• I'm not pursuing a degree in early childhood education; I'm finishing my undergraduate degree in theatre and planning on getting my MAT in Theatre Education k-12 beginning May 2017.
• I'm not working with small children anymore; I'm a shop assistant in a costume shop, mostly building costumes for the musical, and a painter in the scene shop for the musical. 
• I'm also no longer single, and am oh so very happy in a relationship.

I'm the happiest I've ever been. Knowing exactly what I want to do and where I want to go is a great feeling, and I don't even want to go far away. If I'm being honest, I want to stay right here. Someone would probably tell me that I could make a difference anywhere, so why not make a difference right here? The idea of getting out of this place - the New River Valley to be exact, is awesome for some people, but not for me. I'd love to vacation out of the area, but I truly believe that I'm meant to do something here. I've tried to leave and something has always brought me back. 

The best part about that is my decision to stay here has every bit to do with me. Plenty of people and things have influenced the decision but no one else has made that decision for me. I've found a passion for theatre education and keeping the arts alive and I want to pursue that passion right here in SWVA. If all I do is influence one kid over the course of my entire life, I will feel like I've succeeded. I don't need an award or recognition from my superiors for my work and sometimes I feel sorry for people who live that way. 

It's also great because my relationship didn't make this decision for me. I have to say that I have the most wonderful and loving and supportive boyfriend in the world. Our relationship isn't perfect, but it's exactly what I need and it's a plus that he meshes so well with my friends. He's the one I want to talk to at the end of the day, but our relationship doesn't define who I am as a person, or my success - which brings me to another point...

I'm so confused why people let their marital status define who they are or let a relationship or lack of mean they're successful or not. People say society pressures women into relationships but I actually feel the exact opposite because you always hear about how boring "settling" is. Being single doesn't make you more successful. Being married doesn't make you happier. And if other people thinking either of those things about you are that big of a deal then I'm sorry that you feel that way. I'm in a happy, stable relationship and I would consider myself to be fairly successful. 

I could go on about defining success and what I've accomplished so far this year, or I could stop typing and save that for another day because this is a lot to read and I don't want to bore you with some post from a 24 year old almost college graduate who wants to spend her life in a high school.

until next time...