why I do what I do

Last summer I went to my cousin's wedding. When you're around family and you're in your twenties, people love to ask you what you are, or what you want to do with your life. Last summer was when I had finally decided what I really want to do. I was approached by someone and asked, and when I said that I wanted to teach theatre I was honestly a little surprised by the response that I was given, mostly because the response came from a fellow educator. As a side note I have this image in my head that all of us educators need to stick together. She said "oh, but you need a back up." to which I reminded her that the masters I want is in k-12 education so my options should be pretty open, and she went on to tell me that I should get certified in English or history.

I would be the worst English teacher. I can write the crap out of a paper, but I'm a terrible reader. I love reading articles and books that I'm actually interested in, but I could never spend my nights reading papers and awful books recommended by the public education system. First of all, I would roll my eyes at the sometimes terrible grammar - I'm no grammar nazi myself! I actually think I use too many commas..  and I would just hate my life. So why the heck would I want to be certified to teach English.

I'm tired of being told that what I love to do isn't worthy or isn't a real thing. I spent the last year of my four year high school relationship being told that theatre is just a hobby and that I needed to pursue a "real job" in order to support my relationship in the long run so that my counterpart at the time could pursue what he liked to do because it was more "practical" that what I wanted to do. People might wonder why I get so defensive when I talk about what I want to do, so now you know why. I spent years being told that I would never get a real job doing what I love to do so I should settle. 

Well I'll have you know that I'm not settling, and I'd like to think that I've been perfectly successful not doing so. I'll graduate in the fall with my undergrad in theatre with experience in a number of different things. I can't wait to expose students to the reality of stage management and design, two things that I had never dreamed about doing until college. In high school it was all about the performance, and it was so fun at the time, but it's not my thing anymore. Then again, I wouldn't just call myself a designer or a stage manager, either. I'd like to think that I'm a melting pot of all of the wonderful things that make theatre worth pursuing. Now, I can't light design worth anything, but I could at least introduce a student to a basic concept. 

All I want to do is influence one life over the course of mine. If I can at least help one student decide that the theatre is worth pursuing then I will feel like I've done my service. If I could help a hundred students then even better, but dream big, am I right? 

Then again, why is it such a big dream? How much does the entertainment industry influence your life? Do you watch television? Do you watch Netflix? Guess what, without theatre you would be staring at the wall. The theatre is important, and I want to devote my life to teaching it. 

No, I don't think I'll be the best teacher ever. I don't want recognition for anything. I just want to be happy doing what I love to do. And I want people to stop telling me that I should do something different. I think you should support me. When I tell you what I'm doing with my life, all I want you to say is "oh, that's great." That's literally it. I don't want to hear what I "should" do. I don't think anyone should have to hear that. 

"The stage is not merely the meeting place of all the arts, but is also the return of art to life". -- Oscar Wilde