"Your life sucks because you're not married like me!" "Actually no."
'Tis the season for being judged based on your marital, or lack thereof, status, am I right?
A few weeks ago I came across a Facebook status that someone had posted. I read the status. and then in the days following, that stuff spread like a plague. I started seeing posts on buzzfeed and thought catalog about all of the reasons why it's great to be 23 and married, or ones talking about the 100's of things you have to do before you get married, or reasons why it's great to be 25 and not married. It all seemed to come out of nowhere.
My thoughts on all of that? Well, I'm 22, so no, I'm not old. I've been in several relationships, ranging in ones that were three months long, to one that I was in for four years. I've felt like the happiest girl in the world with a guy, and I've also felt like the worst person in the world. We all go through those feelings. That's how you find out things about other people and about yourself. Which, I think it's really important that you find your place with a person. If you're miserable, don't be with them. Who's forcing you? Sure, it's nice always having that person you can depend on in that kind of situation... but it's also nice having cats to cuddle with and a nice book to read on your kindle. Because even though your cat, or dog, might hate you sometimes, they'll always love you and want to cuddle, on their terms, of course. They'll also be there to look at you like they're judging you really harshly, but that's okay too.
If you're my age, or younger or older, and you're happily engaged or married to someone, you have no idea how much respect I have for you. Really. I admire you for making those kind of commitments, as long as you truly are the happiest you think you'll ever be. I love that you've found love. I've been in love, and it's a great feeling.... but it sucks when things turn for the worst and the person you thought you loved starts to become a stranger, or starts to bring you down. It happens to everyone.
I'm happy if you're ridiculously head over heels for this person that you want to spend the rest of your life, but....
I'm not happy when you start throwing judgments at me for not being any of that, yet. If you're happy with this person then great!! Be happy with that person and get off of social media. If someone posts something negative regarding your life choices, guess what? It doesn't matter. That's what they think, so good for them! Like everything I post on this blog is what I think. I don't care if everyone in the world disagrees with me. But I'm still going to post it because I feel like it.
I'm happy where I am right now. We all have reasons for being with, or not being with someone. One day I hope I'll be ridiculously in love with someone who feels the same way about me. One day I'll have my dream, or at least something close to it, wedding, and have a little spawn of myself. But right now I'm happily single and you're happily, well, whatever you are. Just know that I want the best for you. I'm not bitter or jealous. I never will be. Even if I'm a 50 year old pre-school teacher who comes home to five cats and the only guy who calls me is Randy from Chase Visa..
I'll find my way like you found yours. So all of that being said, be happy doing whatever. That's all I talk about isn't it? Being happy with yourself... well if you're not happy with yourself then have a glass of wine, or cup of coffee, and decide what you need to do to be happy. No one shouldn't be happy.
xoxo
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